Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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