i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
