Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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