What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
