Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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