i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
