i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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