he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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