***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
