you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
