i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
