Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
