Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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