you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
