...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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