Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
