I want to make a zoo with you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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