According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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