Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
