How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
