I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
