I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
