I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
