So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
