Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
