12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
