Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
