no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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