Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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