No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
