I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
