I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
