There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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