If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
