You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
