these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
