Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
