There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
