Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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