And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
