I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
