There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
then he tried to convert me to islam
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
