Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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