yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
