That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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