Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
