better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
