Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
