I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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