you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
