Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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