Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
