even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I need to stop coming to work sober
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
