We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
be right there i have to get my cape
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
